It's Suffocating

i'm suffocating..

tired..

my body say: "Why do I have to do all this? Don't u feel tired?"

my mind say: "Oh! Please give me a break!"

but my heart say: "Just go on.. Do what u are supposed to do.. It's your responsibility to do all this.. Just do it and try to have fun with it.."

And of course, body and mind have to follow what the heart says..

and this is where I am now, doing all the job I have to do;

quizzes, just say when and how many topics, I'll bear with it..

society works, just say what u need and I'll prepare it..

coz that's what I do best..

juggling between works and study have never been easy..

Bear with it! :)

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu, dan boleh jadi pula kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu, Allah mengetahui sedang kamu tidak mengetahui." (al-Baqarah: 216)

p/s: sometimes I feel bad coz I can't really say what I want and I can't show what I feel.. oh, can somebody help me how to be strict and nice and make others listen at you at the same time?

Monday Blues

urgh!!!!! dunno why tapi tetiba aku rase xde mood mlm ni.. huhu.. last few days aku rase penat sgt angkut2 brg, ulang alik sports complex-grand hall-mahallah-kop.. alhamdulillah, arini dpt qadha' tido and rehat puas2..

tapi, tetiba jek ptg tadi aku rase cam xde mood.. kurang dopamine and serotonin kot.. last2 call umah nk dgr suare those two beautiful boys:

alih2, bdk ni baru bgn tido n tengah tgk kartun.. of coz la xnk layan aku.. huhu.. seyesly.. tetiba rase nk balik umah main ngn dyorg.. huhu..

fortunately, minggu ni ade 1 jek kuiz (ari jumaat, kire lambat lg la.. hehe..) and ade sehari cuti.. tp, klas agak full gak la.. and this weekend kena jage booth ipha sempena i-Fest kat Megamall.. seems like xley rehat lg lah weekend ni.. tp nk wat cmne, nak merungut pon xley, 2 dah amanah and tanggungjwb Allah bg.. InsyaAllah, klu kite permudahkan urusan org lain, Allah akan permudahkan urusan kite.. kla, nk susun nota utk quiz and bace buku yg beli kat bookfair ri2 utk naikkan mood blk.. oh and btw, pesanan ikhlas utk sesape yg selalu moody, klu tgh2 moody 2, jgn lah lepaskan ke'moody'an anda kat org lain yek, xpsl2 org tu tgh epy tetiba jd down sbb xpsl2 kna marah.. :)

till then,bye!

No Regrets.. :)

Assalamualaikum and hye there!

I'm currently at home for a very short mid semester break which only lasts around 5 days.. While others may have been at home since last Saturday, I was just went back home yesterday and will be going back to Kuantan on this Saturday.. Huaaa.. Cptnye dah kena g blk.. X smpt nak main puas2 ngn those two adorable and naughty boys yg sampai Jumaat mlm nnti..

Why do I went back home late? xde maknenye aku nk blk lmbt klu xde sbb musabab yg sangatlah penting.. klu bley, ari jumaat tghari 2 trus aku naik bas balik umah.. but then, I have to sacrifice bcoz ari Isnin 2 ade visit to PUSPEN Gambang under drug abuse subject.. So, those yg x amik subjek ni bley la blk awal.. for those who didn't know (including me, at first.. :P), PUSPEN a.k.a pusat serenti menempatkan penagih dadah yg sdg menjalani pemulihan.. tmpt ni gak dikenali sbg CCRC (Cure and Care Rehab Centre) whereby penghuni2 dye dmasukkan ke cni atas perintah mahkamah lps kantoi kena tgkp ngn abg polis.. tp kat Gambang ni, penghuni dye terdiri drpd mereka2 yg x menjalankan jenayah berat (rekod bersih selain dadah)..

Alkisahnye, task kitorg kat cne is dgr taklimat dr pihak pengurusan and the most interesting part is, interview penghuni2 kat c2.. at first, cuak gak la sbb kitorg diberitahu kna interview 2 on the spot and 1 student will get to interview 2 person at once.. sesi interview aku ngn 2 penguni 2 sgt menginsafkan and I can see that they really have regretted their wrong doings and determined to turn over a new leaf once they are out of the rehab centre.. They shared their story to me from the moment how they started taking drug (both of them amik ddh sbb pengaruh kwn), how the drugs influence their life and family, how they suffer when they stopped taking the drug, how grateful they are bile msk PUSPEN and also their hope for the future.. I sincerely hope diorg akan kuat smgt bile dibebaskan nnti supaya xterpengaruh blk dgn anasir2 luar.. sbb anything dkt luar 2 bley trigger dyorg punye memory on the drug.. and hopefully they can be a good son, brother, husband and father to their family.. Same2 kite doakan..

So, even kitorg trpaksa blk lmbt semata2 utk pergi visit 2, pengorbanan 2 sgtlah berbaloi sbb this is the only visit yg betol2 membuka mata aku ttg realiti hidup kat luar cne dan memberi 1001 keinsafan dlm diri.. and one thing dyorg smpt pesan kat aku, "Jangan kite hina penagih dadah kat luar cne, kite xtau penderitaan dyorg dan mane tau, mende 2 pon bley jadi kat family kite satu hari nanti.." Nauzubillah.. And alang2 aku tgh ckp psl drg abuse ni, nak promo la kat junior2 (2 pon klu ade yg bace blog aku..), jgn takut amik subjek ni.. don't listen to those ridiculous excuse psl susah nk skor la, dr haniki strict lah.. what more important is the knowledge u've gained.. sgt best sbnrnye blajar drug abuse ni.. even klas 4 jam sehari pon xboring.. :)

Oh, and by the way, the weekend before the visit doesn't went by as the usual weekend where I juz sleep and watch movies, online etc.. Instead, we spent the weekend at Kemaman and it was such a memorable experience.. For this, let's just make the pictures tell u the story..

First stop, Kemaman mini zoo..

Jejak kasih ngn Ikan Naga a.k.a Arapaima which was first found kat visit to FRIM..

Photo session at Jetty Star Cruise

As-Safina Arabian Restaurant.. Good food and great service!

Before naik bot utk tgk Kelip2 kat Sg. Yak Yah

Awana Kijal swimming pool

Tibelah masa merempit..

Naik ATV!! Seyes best!

Batik Colouring kat Cherating

Awana Kijal Golf and Country Resort.. Overall rating: 4 stars.. :P

Upgrade Myself!

Alhamdulillah, last saturday I was given a chance to join "Upgrade Myself Seminar" yg disampaikan oleh psgn suami isteri, Amirul & Elina.. since seminar ni quite interesting n I've gained lots of new knowledge from there, aku nk share la ckit sebyk psl input dr seminar 2.. lgpon pasni kna wat report psl seminar ni nk kna submit kat mdm.. FYI, kitorg actually 'dipaksa' utk pergi seminar ni sbb alasannye nk memenuhkan hall.. nasibla ade mkn free, xrugi la pergi.. so, pagi2 2 dgn perasaan "Ah, malasnye nk g seminar ni.. mesti ckp psl mende same jek.. Mtk2 la cpt abis.. huhu.. " kami meredah hujan jln kaki ke bngunan admin 2.. Yela, standard r tyme weekend kan, nk bermalas2an ckit.. (Padahal everyday pon da bermalas2an.. :P)

"How I do anything is how I do everything"

smpi2 je utk registration, dpt sebijik fail yg cantek ni.. dlm hati aku, "no wonderla byr speaker ni mhl, fail dye ni jek pon dah mhl.." ok, bile da start 2, both of the speakers managed to catch my attention.. everyone pon mcm da bersemgt and participate dlm seminar 2.. meh nk share ckit ape yg kitorg blajar..

1. 6 JARS MONEY MANAGEMENT. ok, yg ni mmg 1st tyme aku tau.. basically, bile kite ade duit (xkisah la pocket money, gaji ke, scholar ke), u have to divide it into 6 parts:

FFA: financial freedom account (bukan free fatty acid ek, hehe..). equal to investment.. yg ni kna allocate 10%.

EDUC: education (10% - nk beli buku ke, fotostat notes etc)

LTSS: long term saving (10%).. SAVING yek!!

NEC: necessities (monthly expenditure- 50%).. ni utk makan minum, beli brg2 keperluan seharian..kirenye u can only spend this much amount, half of what u have!

PLAY!!: 10% je yek utk mende2 lagha: tgk movie, shopping etc..

GIVE: 10% of the money should be given to anyone (nak derma ke, nak bg present kat kwn ke.. as long as u don't take the money..)

insyaAllah dgn care ni, kite xkan cepat kehabisan duit in the middle/end of the sem.. n savings utk mase dpn pon akan bertambah..

2. 5 LOVE LANGUAGE. basically, there are 5 groups of people; quality time (yup, that's me!), words affirmation, physical touch, acts of service and receiving gifts.. ok, let's go one by one.. quality time type of people, they love when someone spends time with them.. they will feel loved and cared.. physical touch suke klu org hug/kiss/pat them/shake hands.. receiving gifts, as the name suggest, suke klu org bg hadiah n they'll appreciate the gifts forever.. word of affirmation kena puji, beri galakan and nasihat setiap mase.. act of service plak is the type yg a little 'bossy', they love when people do something for them e.g cook for them, iron clothes, buatkan assignment.. erk.. so, by knowing in which group your parents, siblings, couples and friends are, you can show them that u care bout them by doing what they love..

3. TIPS TO UPGRADE YOURSELF. dyorg ajar on cmne posture duduk yg btol and how to walk confidently.. n of course, appearance and attitude. they also shared a tips when going for interview, always have eye contact with the person interviewing, especially when u enter the room.. ni based on kak elin's father experience interviewing people for SPA, those yg do not have eye contact when they 1st enter the room are automatically diqualified.. scary, isn't it?

4. BELIEVE. everything u do, believe u can do it.. no matter what other people says, u just have to believe in yourself.

5. STAY POSITIVE. change the bad attitude and negative thoughts into something positive.. everytime u have a negative thoughts in ur mind, say "Thank You for Sharing!" and juz ignore them..

that's all I want to share.. x rugi la join program ni sbnrye.. klu kat luar, program ni sgtlah mahal.. kitorg kire beruntung sbb free of charge, OSC sponsor..

p/s: bile la JPA nk masuk.. makin lambat, makin tinggi angan2 nk beli brg mcm2.. eh, kna apply 6 jars dulu bile dpt duit nnti ni! hehe.. selamat mencuba!

"To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.

To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.

To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.

To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics."

"Saya selesema, cikgu!"

Salam.. It's been 3 weeks since i'm back to school, back to being an ordinary pharmacy student, back to the same big building and lecture hall, back to meeting and hanging out with friends and learning and discovering new things as a student.. fortunately (or rather unfortunately?) the first three weeks ni bley dikatakan sgt relax sbb xde klas ptg, and still no assignment, quiz, practical report YET.. biasela, lumrah student, klu certain pathway xstimulated, means xde la process yg akan dilakukan utk create a response to counter the stimulus.. secara laymen term nye, xde quiz, of coz la malas nk study.. :P tapi bukan sume la, aku je kot..

so, utk menambahkan kerajinan aku utk study psl drugs, aku decided nak record n write about the drugs which I take for certain conditions.. baru2 ni, maybe ade virus influenza outbreak kat kelas kot, sampai ramai yg batuk, selesema n finally demam.. aku pon terkena gak la tempiasnye.. aku kena selesema for a few days.. 2nd day selesema, dah xtahan nk bernafas dlm keadaan hidung tersumbat, aku pon selongkar la kotak kecik dlm locker aku cari ubat selesema.. terjumpa la satu strip Fedac Tablet.. wpon sedikit kecewa sbb I was hoping for Loratidine yg x menyebabkan mengantuk, aku pon terpaksa la telan Fedac tablet ni.. hasilnye, less than 3o minit pas 2, trus terbungkang atas katil.. yg xbley blah skali, bley plak mimpi pasal buat autopsy dlm meeting.. ape kaitannye aku pon xtau.. huhu..

~aaaaa.... choooommmm!!~

so guys, let's learn more about Fedac tablet.. Fedac tablet ni mengandungi pseudoephedrine yang tergolong dalam kelas anti-histamine.. anti-histamine ni kegunaan dye utk ubati selesema and allergic.. nape name dye anti-histamine? actually, bile bdn kita exposed to certain allergen (mende yg menyebabkan allergy contohnye habuk, bulu binatang etc), our immune system akan release mende yg bernama histamine ni.. histamine ni lah yg menyebabkan kite selesema, bersin, sakit tekak, batuk, gatal dan symptom2 lain yg menunjukkan allergy.. so, anti-histamine bertindak dengan inhihit/block production of histamine..

tapi, macam biase, most drugs ade side effect dye.. the most common effect of anti-histamine is drowsiness (pening kepala) yang menyebabkan mengantuk.. so, sesape yg selalu dapat ubat selesema kat klinik/farmasi, mesti perasan ade satu label:

"Do not drive or operate machinery".

so, sesape yg baru makan ubat ni, tolong la jgn drive keta, atau gunekan sebarang mesin utk mengelakkan sbrg kemalangan yg xdiingini.. kang xpsl2 tgh drive bley tertido.. nau'zubillah.. tapi, since zaman makin modern, researcher pon dah develop a new generation of anti-histamine yg x menyebabkan mengantuk cthnye Loratadine, Zyrtec, Clarinase.. so, insyaAllah yg ni selamat la ckit klu nk mkn b4 study, or ape2 yg memerlukan concentration yg tinggi.. Lastly, tips klu nk tau ubat 2 under anti-histamine ke x, tgk name dye.. mostly, they will end with -ine.. e.g diphenhydramine, chlorpheniramine..

rsenye 2 jela kot basic info yg kna tau pasal anti-histamine.. haa! makan sebijik sekali je tau.. kang overdose plak.. pasni, klu rajin, nak update psl drug lain la.. nk refresh memori psl drugs yg dah pernah belajar dulu.. haih, ni la jadi klu study utk exam/quiz.. abes jek, cpt jek ilang..

p/s: still waiting for the reply from industrial company.. mtk2 la dpt buat attachment kat Royce Pharma.. and hopefully I've made the rite decision in taking Drug Abuse.. xnak la dgr ckp2 org yg nak menakutkan diri.. belum cuba, belum tahu.. take the challenge and be positive! Wishing that this semester will be better than before.. :)

Are U Afraid??

Alhamdulillah.. akhirnye tamat la sdh part ketiga attachment kat community pharmacy.. as usual, aku setia buat kat Pharmacy Lim.. i've got to say, this is one of the best retail pharmacy compared to my friends' experiences at other places.. Mr Jacob ni sgt2 bgs orgnye and pengetahuan dye sgtla luas dlm bidang pharmacy and medical.. smpikan customer yg dtg kat pharmacy 2 ask him for a second opinion lps jupe dr, nak make sure btol ke ape yg dr 2 ckp.. hehe.. bukannye dye nk amik alih tugas dr, tp dye ckp, "Dr skrg doesn't spend much time dgn patient utk btol2 identify patient's problem, especially yg berkaitan dgn skin disease.."

Ni antara ubat2 yg kitorg kna salin and identify class, indication etc..

Mereka2 yg tgh semangat menyalin n bace leaflet sbb nk blk awal.. hehe..

Yeay!! Da abes posting and dpt evaluation form blk..

Since ni tahun terakhir kitorg buat posting kat retail pharmacy, the last day 2 mmg byk kate2 semangat and nasihat dye bg utk kita2 yg bakal grad xlme lg.. Ni aku juz summarize ape yg dye ckp la..

" Your seniors often said to me that people always look down on UIA student.. Dunno why but actually, there's nothing to be looked down to since u all have the same knowledge.. U juz have to be confident and believe what u say is true.. but, before that of course u have to be prepared, read lots of research (dye sarankan newsletters from Medscape and MIMS), spend some times to read medical websites and also Women's Magazine website.. Before going to ward round, for example, prepare urself with all the information, know the drug commonly used in that ward, or even come to that ward one day earlier and ask permission to read the medication chart.. It's normal to be scolded and make mistake.. People do make mistake and u juz have to learn from the mistake.. "

Seriously, aku terharu bile dgr dye punye advice.. And yg plg terkesan dlm hati is:

" U don't have to be afraid.. Believe in urself.. I think u all did great here.. Ur exam results must be good what.. (Ok, time ni sume senyum sinis, dahla result br kuar mlm sblumnye.. ) Actually, exam results are not a reflection of how good u are.. Some people they just don't have the skill to answer the exam questions, although actually they have the knowledge.. What more important is the knowledge u've learnt throughout the sem.."

Introducing... Mr Jacob..

Ok, time ni aku tetiba rs tersentak.. And I said to myself, if he believes in u, why don't u believe in urself? Drpd "short lecture" yg dye bg 2, aku trus rase

bersemangat blk sbb act ari2 aku dok fikir psl result exam yg aku xcek lg.. huhu.. Blk umah 2, trus aku cek result and alhamdulillah, aku pass sume subjek.. Honestly, I know that we should aim higher rather than hoping for a pass.. Tp, since aku tau I messed up a lot in exam baru ni, so pass jek pon da buat aku rase hepi.. And alhamdulillah, pointer aku x jatuh.. Tipula klu aku kate aku x jeles tgk result org lain yg gempak2, tp aku pcaye masing2 ade kelebihan tersendiri.. One maybe good in exam, but maybe, (maybe...) dye ade weakness kat bidang lain.. Aku? Aku lemah part exam, tp maybe aku ade kelebihan kat tempat lain.. Kelebihan kat mane ek?? Hmmm.. Ntahla, aku pon xdpt figure out lg.. maybe one day I'll finally found one thing I'm good at.. hehe..

N one last word yg Mr Jacob bg concerning our future (pas kite grad and abis PRP).. "I think by that time, there might already be lots of hospital pharmacists.. thus, u should highly consider community pharmacist as an option.." Actually, bile aku start posting kali ni, aku mmg tetiba berminat utk bukk retail pharmacy.. Especially bile aku observe Mr Jacob ade good relationships ngn customer dye, nmpk lg dekat di hati rakyat la lbey kurg.. Pas2 ditambah lg bile bljr psl pricing strategy.. Money, Money, Money, Money!! Tp bile ckp kt mak aku, dye ckp susah sbb byk persaingan.. Tp aku rse rmi pharmacy yg xlaku kt trg ni sbb dyorg xpndi amik hati customer.. So, aku rse aku akn put community pharmacy as my 2nd option after hosp pharmacy.. tp, mane nk cari modal? Hmm.. Kna cari laki kaye dulu ni.. xpon, anyone yg sanggup jd bussiness partner aku, plez contact me.. :)

* Dialog2 di atas telah diadaptasi dan diubah mengikut kesesuaian n of cozla xingt every words yg dye ckp..

p/s: posting da abes, tp report x start2 buat lg.. HMR pon lngsung xsentuh.. Another 4 days before bkk sem.. Hopefully things will turn out as normal kat UIA nnti..

Till then, bye!

Happy or Sad Ending??

alhamdulillah, while writing this entry, i'm currently on my cozy bed in a small room in a small wooden house with my sister sleeping on my side.. hehe.. that means, I'm at home!! after all the tense and the last-minute studying for the final exam, skrg da bley bersuka ria n bermalas2an kt umah.. but it won't be long.. ari selasa ni da kna start 2wks attachment kt the best pharmacy ever in kt, Pharmacy Lim.. nasib baik sekejap jek sehari.. better than wasting my time kt umah doing mende2 lagha.. hehe..so, xnk ckp pnjg2 psl exam ri2.. I've done my best, so now leave the rest to Allah.. cume bley berharap lecturer2 yg semak kertas 2 lembut hati, dpt bg markah kesian sbb jwpn ntah pape.. huhu..

berakhirnye final exam utk sem ni, that means the end of our journey as a sem 1 3rd yr student.. fuh.. pejam celik pejam celik dah 3 thn msk pharmacy ni.. mcm br smlm jek rase g kuantan, angkat tgn bg nama nk tukar pharmacy.. haha.. n baru merasa msk thn baru wpon arini da 15 hb januari.. hehe.. a new year has come.. 2012.. I'm 22 this year.. can't wait to see what stores for me this year.. more hardships n stress, maybe?

looking back at the past, honestly aku rase, in 2011, I've learnt so many things and experiences that I've never gained before.. let's see...

1. I've traveled quite a lot last year.. especially during the 5 months holiday.. xde la byk sgt pon, n bukannye g jauh2 oversea pon.. lg2 bile ade minah 2org 2 tumpang umah aku for almost 2 weeks, ape lg.. g meronggeng la.. seriously, thanx 2 them jugakla aku bley g jln2 wpon area dekat2 jek.. nk ajak family aku, dyorg bukannye kaki jln.. so, kitorg smpt la pg taman tamadun islam (yg ni aku da boring pergi), pulau kapas (1st time snorkeling! n plg best, snorkeling pki seluar jeans.. duh!) n guided tour kt masjid kristal.. special kot.. pas2 travel ngn family.. since family aku bukannye kaki jln, kitorg mmg xbyk g bercuti.. klu plan nk g mane2, mesti dah half-way planning, cancel.. haih.. mmg hancur luluh la hati aku setiap kali jd cm2.. tp mase cuti ri2, kitorg secara xtersengaja pergi jln2.. mule2, g bukit tinggi.. 2 pon tetiba je nk singgah sbb kitorg dr bentong.. pas2, g melaka.. ni pon sbb akak aku tetiba dpt call kna g iview kt kolej risda, so aku n parents aku ikut, n kitorg stay kt a famosa resort.. so, smpt la aku n akak aku main air kt a famosa water world 2.. hehe.. seriously best.. n lastly, g srwk.. ni pon secara last minute kitorg g booking tket flight.. tp xbest sgt, sbb kitorg ddk kt umah abg aku jek.. xde jln2 pon.. setakat beli brg kt sibu jek.. tp okla drpd xg langsung..

~me n my sister b4 basah lencun main air~

~with my beloved boyfriend kat Bukit Tinggi~

~kami bertiga kat Pulau Kapas~

2. 3rd year pharmacy student - Clinical Pharmacy! subjek ni memerlukan kitorg pergi ke hosp, jupe patients and interpret their lab test.. mule2, pening2 n cuak gak la nk jupe patients.. pas2 lme2 ok jek.. tp part yg xbest is the report n the presentation.. standard la bdk pharmacy, report merata2.. fuh.. pjg cite sbnrnye klu nk ckp psl CP ni, dr kes groupnye, lecturernye, presentationnye, quiznyer.. mmg xkan abes.. tp secara konklusinye, aku dah start nmpk role of pmcist ni nnti kt hosp n the challenge that will awaits us bile da grad nnti.. syukur sgt2 sbb aku dpt group members yg komited, cooperate and supportive.. langsung xde masalah.. :) n not to forget, 1st tyme OSCE, counsel patient on asthma n chemo.. haha.. makcik "Kelly", xkan ku lupekan wajah mu yg blur yg menyebabkan aku ckp melayu.. hehe..

3. Jadi class rep utk Sem 1/Year 2 and also Quiz Coordinator for 3rd National Pharmacy Quiz 2011.. due2 tanggungjwb ni agak berat sbnrnye.. both memerlukan aku communicate with the lecturers and not to forget, communicating with other people especially the coursemates.. it's

hard to fulfill other people's expectations, but I've tried my best.. pernah la ju

gak kdg2 terganggu emosi n tertumpah air mate mase galas tanggungjwb ni, tp it doesn't matter coz that's what makes me stronger.. sometimes, aku terfikir, lykke aku pgg jwtn ni, sbb honestly I have to admit, there are times when I can't work well under pressure.. thanx to my colleagues for giving me supports especially during that time.. I'll try to improve myself next time..

2 je kot mende2 yg plg significant bg aku for 2011.. byk jer mende2 kecik lain yg happened.. but i won't write bout it.. and as usual, bile dtg thn baru, mesti org ckp psl azam baru.. aku? juz want to be a better person from day to day.. jadi mcm mereka2 aku yg aku kagumi n buang karat2 jahiliah dlm diri ni.. generally 2011 brings a happy ending to my life, tp i'm not sure bout the exam part.. is it going to have a happy ending too? i really2 hope so.. how i wish life can be easy as the fairy tale, where they will live happily ever after.. but is it going to happen in reality? only Allah knows..