Unattached

Salam...

Well, it's school holiday! So guess what, u can expect a loooot of wedding photos popping out every single time on ur facebook page.. Friends from all stages of life, sekolah rendah, menengah, mrsm, cenfos and uia, all are getting married. So, as usual, I will analyze most of the wedding photos, stalking who is the wife/husband of the pengantin, complimenting on the dress and pelamin, and envying the gathering of other friends whom I haven't met for a long time. And one thing that kept me thinking when I'm looking at the photos is not "when will I get to be the bride on the wedding photo" but rather, who'll come to my wedding.

Have I been a good friend to everyone? Will they be excited to come to my wedding? Honestly, I do have a lot of good friends, close friends, friends whom I can hang out with, gossiping together, watching movies together, playing together, but are they considered as BFF? I'm not the person who'll keep in touch with everyone once I left the school or college. And even, sometimes I'm the cruel friend who didn't reply back when someone trying to keep in touch with me. But not all the time, only when the time I received the text might not be right and I'm not in the mood. Well, I guess that's my fault then. Sometimes, I do feel left out when everyone is gathering somewhere else and I wasn't invited or I was there but no one is paying attention on me. And there's also times when I feel awkward after meeting the friends after a long time.

On the other side, I am grateful for the friends that I've met till now. They have been an inspiration, people that I look up to, friends through ups and downs and most importantly, friends that accept me as who I am. Although we never say we're BFFs or something like that, it's awesome having all of you as my close friends. Sorry if sometimes I didn't act as a good friend. Thank you, chingu! Let's be friends till jannah!

Sorry, My Love...

Salam...

 Dear love, although you don't have the fancy look nor come from a wealthy generation, i'm glad to have u as my partner. Nothing can ever replace our bond together for the moment.

I remember meeting you for the first time almost a year back. Meeting you is not an easy task, i have to settle a lot of things in order for you to be able to come into my life. It was a tough time for me, a new career woman stranded in an island with a totally different environment to adapt with. Choosing you as a partner took me a lot of thinking and planning, although at first i even thought of not choosing you. But as times goes on, i never regret the decision i made, because u are always there for me, through thicks and thins of life.

Sorry for hurting you throughout our relationship together. I know i'm not good enough to be ur partner, and i know most of the time, i am the one who brought u into trouble. Physically, seeing every inches of ur body every day made me feel sorry that u have met me. U must be jealous of how ur friends look like with their partner. I even noticed how people sometimes glances at us, in disbelief on what happened to u.

I know i'm not a perfect partner for you. But u are the best partner for me. U have always been strong for me, never let me down even for once. I'm sorry for hurting you just after few days we became partner. It hurts me a lot seeing you were injured so badly back then. I'm sorry for not being a capable woman who can take care of her partner. I'm sorry for letting you fall down into the drain not just once, but twice, in different occassions. I'm sorry for not being able to identify the culprit who injured you when i left you alone. It all happened so suddenly, with no intentions and warnings.

However, because of you, i've learnt a lot. Remember the day we break the rules together? And remember how the joy we feel when i can actually put you in a neat and proper place for you to rest and sleep at night.. Remember all the places we've been together all this while, being lost in new places together, and sometimes luckily discovered new interesting places.. Remember when i took you back to my families to meet with them.. I hope our relationship will last longer despite all the scratches and injury you have. I promise, one day i will make you feel brand new, after we leave this island, hopefully, to a better place where other people also took care of you, not just me. For the moment, let us continue be partner till i can i find my real life partner.

Thank you, my love!

Incomplete

Peace be upon you...

Another few months to finish this prp training.. However, i still find myself lacking in many ways.. Sometimes i feel burdened when most of the people say that hpp is a good training place for prp.. Maybe it is me who are not eager and keen enough to find and grab the knowledge.. Im not gonna give any excuses or blame it on others anymore.. Deep in my heart, i sincerely hope that my next posting will be somewhere in my hometown.. Although i met a lot of good friends here which i am grateful for, willing to stay with us for the never ending work, i still feel lonely. A huge part of it is because my family is not here with me. And sometimes i was left alone in weekend with no one to hang out with. So sad, right? Haha.. But i'm not saying that i want to marry soon, ok.. Hopefully i can survive this loneliness for another few months.

p/s: this post is written after i found out that i cannot go back home this merdeka since the bus tickets were all sold out... Flight ticket is too damn expensive since no direct flight available from penang-trg.. Still wondering whether i will spend the holiday alone at home or i will have solo travel around penang.. Huhu

Struggling. Adapting.

I know im already halfway to finish this prp training. Another 6 months and insyaAllah i`ll be free from this hectic prp life.. It`s an unexplainable feeling that i have now going through all this.. Being alone in a strange place without my family has never been an issue for me before this since i was in high school but now, it`s totally different.. Different environment and different responsibilities. Honestly im missing home sooo much and seeing others went back home on weekend and even those who r lucky to stay with their families, it really makes me feel jealous. How i wish i can work in trg besides my family. But Allah has a better plan for me here. I have to keep believing and moving on until i get to the finish line..

P/s: finding the right time to go back home, even just on weekend is reaaally hard. Lots of things to settle, lots of duty to be done. May Allah ease me and put my heart at peace during this struggle.. Amen..

2014 Wishlist

1. Getting my own car from scratch. That means all the down payment and monthly payment will be done by myself. (Already booked Myvi 1.3 S-Series but still waiting for the loan to be approved before I can receive the car. Oh, and of course it will have Penang plate and it will be a reminisence of how I start my career life in Penang.)
2. Explore Penang to the max! Alang2 ddk Penang, of course la kena jalan2.. As people said, Penang is the heaven of food, so I want to try most of the famous Penang food here. Places I especially wanted to go to:

Penang Street Art

Escape AdventurePlay

Bukit Bendera

Batu Feringghi

and of course, the shopping malls! hehe..

3.   Finish my PRP at Hosp Pulau Pinang and continue my career somewhere else, preferably in my hometown. Amin...

4. Kawen? Nah, haven't found my soulmates yet.

5. Gather lotss of money to travel to a different country. The choices are:

Kyoto, Japan

London

New Zealand

So now, who wants to be my travel partner?